What People Ask Me About Being a Surrogate

Julia, pregnant with twins talks about her experience as a surrogate mother

I am currently in my third surrogacy, and the one of the questions I get asked the most is “Why did you decide to become a surrogate in the first place?” The basic answer is just that I feel so lucky to be a mom. My husband and I went through a brief period of not knowing if we would ever get to have kids due to his sickness. So when we were able to, we were both ecstatic. We hear from our childhood that life is not fair. But I can help do something about it for at least a few families that otherwise would not be families.

The other question that most surrogates get asked is, “Isn’t it hard to give up the baby?” Absolutely not! Because we go into this journey with the goal of making another family – not our own. And in most cases – all with A Perfect Match, Inc – it’s not even our genetics. But there is a special love that I will always feel toward these children and their families. The other day I was at the store buying birthday gifts for the twin girls I delivered two years ago, and the checkout lady asked me if I was going to a birthday party. I started to tear up (happy tears) while I told her that these were actually gifts for the twins I delivered for another family. Maybe it also had a little bit to do with the fact that I’m currently pregnant and cry over anything anyway.

As I’m nearing the end of my third and last surrogacy, I’m most looking forward to seeing this third family with their babies in their arms. The joyful ending with tears on everyone’s faces is the ultimate pay-off. It’s worth all the discomfort, all the frustration of bed rest or medications or any of that stuff. This is why we do it. And of course, I hope to see pictures once in a while or hear updates, but I know life gets busy. (I have been able to keep in touch with one family but not the other). And I’m busy with my own daughter, who is quickly growing up. In all cases, I can truly look back and have no regrets because I know that out there, there is a family that otherwise would not be.

Julia J

Julia was a surrogate with A Perfect Match, Inc.

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